Why Did My Husband Leave me?

When faced with a crisis such as a divorce, never ask ‘why me’ questions.

There is no power in ‘why me’ questions and no matter how many times you ask the question, the clouds will never part to reveal why someone from up above purposefully took an aim at you and shot.

In fact, ‘why me’ is not really a question at all, it is more like a status update to inform your subconscious mind that you have checked into ‘victim mode’ where progress is prohibited.

Adversity does not discriminate – it strikes us all, irrespective of race, creed, and colour. It is inevitable that at some point in your life, things will happen which bring you down on your knees and compel you to scream out. It is nothing personal – it is just how life is.

Unfortunately, divorce is one of those adverse life events. If you are going through it, I promise you, it is possible to emerge from this as a better version of your previous self. You just have to stop yourself from approaching it with a ‘why me’ type of negativity.

ASKING ‘WHY ME’ KEEPS YOU STUCK IN DIVORCE CRISIS

You are not the first to get a divorce, you will not be the last so clearly asking ‘why me’ is a waste of time. It is a form of small thinking because your brain has nowhere to go from a ‘why me’ question and all it can do is to focus on the pain. The more pain you feel, the more you will become incapable of positive action.

Questions like, ‘why did my partner leave me/cheat on me/treat me this way?’ make you passive. I know it’s painful – no one is expecting you to pretend as though nothing happened, however, you can’t get stuck in that mindset. Take time to process your pain but eventually, you have to commit to finding a way forward.

‘During adversity – we can either evolve or regress – there is no plateau.’

UPGRADE YOUR QUESTIONS – UPGRADE YOUR LIFE

My own experience during a recent, major crisis taught me that the questions you ask yourself can make or break you. Lying in bed, for months on end, asking ‘why did this happen to me’ completely paralysed me. It kept me in a state of passiveness where a breakthrough was inconceivable. Embroiled in fear and victimhood, I continued to invite negative people and situations into my life because I felt deserving of very little.

My transformation only started when I finally asked, ‘What is life trying to teach me and what can I learn from this?’ I could never articulate the shift that occurred within me after this moment, save to say that I am nothing but grateful for what I went through. The person that emerged, post-crisis is who I want to be.

Sometimes things happen, like divorce, which can knock the wind out of your sails. But if you are prepared to put in the work, you can rebound from it and turn your divorce crisis into your turning point. I haven’t been through a divorce, however, I have come close to losing my sanity through adversity, so I know you can push through this if you would give yourself permission to.

People who rebound from adversity begin by believing they are capable of finding a way forward. If you need to fall apart, by all means, take time to process your pain – I know I did. However, you must get to a point where you say, ‘What is life trying to teach me and what can I learn from this?’ and you will begin to change your life.

If you need help with your divorce crisis – call me on 07967 012 006 and I will help you.